January 15, 2016

Age is Just a Number

 
Cassie Loree Photography
It's my birthday, (Monday) and I'm feeling 25 and alive!! It's a thing .. maybe?.. Anyway I really love birthdays. It's kinda funny, the older I get the more I love them. Just an excuse for people to tell you how much they love you, give you presents, and take you to dinner. Who doesn't love that?!?!  If you don't, I would be happy to be your "stand in" come your one day of the year. Also... I really love gift cards....so... Just so we are all clear. 
It's funny but this birthday symbolizes a lot for me. I'm finally hitting that sweet spot, you know where you feel so much like yourself, and you know exactly who you are and what you want and where you are going. Just like get out-a-my way, world, I freakin got this. Yeah, I'm there. Basically, Wendy Williams is my spirit animal. "How you doing?!?" 
It feels really good to have so much confidence and surety about who I am. I don't actually think my age has anything to do with it though. I think it's just as possible to be at this same spot earlier or even later in life. I just have so much contentment, and I know I am right where I'm supposed to be. I'm at rest, so to speak. I think having a baby has helped me get to this point. It taught me to be content sitting and nursing, comforting, being in the present moment. Not multitasking, not doing 18 things at once. Just slowing down and being right there. It's in these moments that I've sought out the innards that make up my character - the good and the really nasty. I've been able to pray and seek wisdom on how to be a better me. Prayed about who I'm supposed to be, and how to fill myself up with more of Jesus and less of me. I want to be the best wife and the best mom I can be for my people. My family, people who need me, I want to be the best me I can be for them. I want my character to define my age and not the number of years I've lived. 
Age.
Age is just a number they say. Age doesn't define you. 
Is that really true? Does anyone actually believe that? I bet you can find those same people telling someone they are too young to understand or too old to relate. 
Why is age so taboo? I used to be in such a rush to be older. I thought my age would make me more mature, and people would take me more seriously based on some number that defined me. I realized something though: I can never get away from some person telling me I'm too young for something. Pushing 25 here, and I'm still just so young. In my mind as a child I knew that by the time I reached age 25, everyone would know that I was an adult, everyone would take me seriously and view me as a woman, not a child. Finally then. Can't I just be 25, I thought? Why then are there still those people reminding me I'm just never quite "old enough"? Or that I'll understand when I'm older. In their eyes, not an adult. I know now, there is always going to be people older than me with more life experience, more knowledge, more everything. 
Or do they?
Does gray hair really define how much wisdom someone has gained? Does the amount of years someone has lived mean they have more life experience than me? Not necessarily. Maybe I've lived more, loved deeper, laughed more often. Maybe I've read more books and searched out deep crevices in my heart they haven't ventured to in their lifetime. Maybe I've sought wisdom harder and prayed more. Maybe my life experience really is more than someone older. Do we really have to segregate each person into an age category?
It's such a funny thing, age. When we are young we want to have had more of it, to show off our age like some Medal of Honor we earned. Because age means acceptance, right? When we are old we want to look like we've lived less of it. Use this cream every night and you will look like the version of yourself you were so eager to get rid of. Because youth means acceptance, right?
Age. 
I'm done letting a number define my worth or wisdom or knowledge or whatever it is people tack onto age. 
Let's stop trying to be a certain age and just be...
After all, age is just a number. 
At the end of the day I'm not 25, I'm Emily. 

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