April 14, 2016

Maintaining Positivity


Some days are so conquered. I run through the hypothetical finish line of my day with my arms raised high, my brows looking fabulous, and the house completely cleaned. I give myself a slap on the tush and pour myself a glass of wine (or cheese wiz) because DANG. I rocked the day. Nothing could hold me down.

Then there are those other days. The ones we all try not to talk about. You know the days where you drag yourself through that same finish line, house demolished, not a trace of makeup on, hair greasy matted and wadded up on the top of your head. You realize at 6:30pm you still haven't brushed your teeth and that bit of strawberry toast your baby had for breakfast somehow just showed up on the back of your arm dried and probably never coming off. Yeah. Those days. Those days are the ones that are really impactful. At least for me. Tears brimming right behind one more mishap. Chest tight and heavy, feeling like a complete and utter distaster. Looking at everyone else's perfect life of polished squares wondering how everyone else manages to do everything you can't seem to. Those days are so hard, but I'm learning to embrace them. It's in those days that I've truly been able to understand the importance of relying on Christ. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It's hard, it's messy, and sometimes it leaves you feeling so depleted.
So how do I keep my inner peace?
There is something I've found that helps me keep my cool, keeps my mojo happy and strong, and hits a reset button in my soul. It honestly took me a long time to figure this out, too. It should have been obvious, but I was so sure that I had everything under control that it wasn't until I lost my temper a few too many times and felt like I was drowning that I needed to get a balance back. I had to figure things out that helped me feel "human again." Sure the occasional solo target run and coffee shop time to myself so I could uninterruptedly cyber stalk everyone cooler than me helped, but it sure never fixed my frazzled heart or spirit. Although I took time to breathe and think and sit, I was not casting my thoughts to the proper place. The fix I was getting was temporary and as soon as I was back to "work" the first tantrum would send me right back to the place I was before, which was not a good place and wasn't a place I enjoyed residing. I felt unlike myself and out of control of my emotions. I was quick to anger and frustration, and I was always annoyed and easily provoked by the smallest things.
Thankfully the true fix really is easy, our love tank is easily restored and refilled. Just not by anything the world offers or reassures you of. No self help books or motivational quotes were able to fix me. No amount of pretty shoes or new nail polishes made me feel at peace. I've found that Jesus refills my emotional bank account better than anything or anyone. He is the only one who satisfies my soul. Spending time in God's word at the end of a long hard day (and good day) really is what gets me through. His sweet reminders of his love for us is truly powerful. I've realized motherhood (parenting) is such a reflection of the same love Christ has for us, his children. It's been such a powerful realization. And often times I wonder how many times I've acted like that tempter tantrum throwing toddler that just wants to get my way, not realizing the outcome will only be bad. And the patience Christ has for me each time I resist him. Standing firm in his love and grace. Always welcoming me back with opened arms. I want my mothering to reflect Christ. It's so hard, and I screw up every other minute of the day, but what a thing to strive for. How loved would my children (child) feel if I loved them everyday like Jesus loves me (us). That's my hope, and that's my prayer. Be more like Jesus everyday. Reflect his love and kindness so that my children seek an intimate relationship with him. And when the going gets tough, as it often does in mothering, run back to Jesus and let him pick up the pieces of your scattered spirit. I'm so sure that spending time in God's word and in prayer is like a washing and renewing of my spirit. It leaves me feeling so rejuvenated, so refreshed, and made new. Even better than a spa day. And this one is free and never runs short on supply.
I've tried everything, this is it. The secret and sole reason I have joy and sound mind. My inner peace is found in Jesus Christ alone. I hope this encourages you to seek his face and walk with him through whatever season of life you face. His friendship is bomb.

What devotional plan do I use?
I read the Bible on my iPad. I recommend the "She Reads Truth" app because it has devotional plans to pick from! Can't get any easier than that y'all! I am currently reading through the Bible in a year plan and LOVING it. I also recommend "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young, it has short daily readings! 

Crank up that worship music or have your phone read the Bible aloud while you put on your makeup or drive in the car. Seriously just spending time meditating on things of the Lord renews you! 

1 comment:

  1. You have spoken so so much truth, Em! Thank you for continually pointing us back to Jesus as our source. Love the imagery of him taking our scattered spirit and washing and renewing us by his Word. Love you!