January 18, 2018

This is 27!

Dress  ||  Earrings similar here

I have to say I’ve always feared getting older. Aging is such a funny, inevitable thing. I think it’s scary because it’s unknown. Picturing yourself old and grey knowing you will look like a completely different version of yourself after years gone by.
But I have to say 27 feels good. I like that number, it sounds semi mature. I’m in that late twenties category which is strange. It kinda feels like my ‘sweet spot’ of life right now. I feel like I’m settling into who I am as a person.
..like after 26 years I’ve finally figured me out. At year 24, I had our first babe and it rocked me. I was completely humbled and broken, I realized what a selfish person I was.. Figuring motherhood out with our very tough baby was hard. It wasn’t at all what I expected to be. I was an impatient, anxiety ridden, stressed out mess. I felt like my identity was completely washed away. Who was this new Emily? I didn’t quite like her. It was year 24 and 25 I started to really dig deep into my character since motherhood has a way of exposing your rawest form of self. I realized I needed lots of work and wasn’t as ‘good’ as I thought I  was. The Lord wrecked me those years, it was in those years I found myself (for the first time ever) TRULY relying on Jesus. I needed him so much to get me through those first months of motherhood. I’m so thankful for that broken, hard,dark time, it truly molded this new version of myself. God was good to me and gave me all the grace I needed, cause God (and my family) knows I needed LOTS OF GRACE. Still do. 
Coming out of that I’ve been able to figure out new passions. Passions that are truly my own and not just because it’s what the popular kids are doing. 27 has a certain confidence about it. I am feeling good in my skin. 
Feeling so much purpose now, having two kids. It feels like such a big and honorable calling. I’m humbled the Lord has entrusted us with TWO. Even after I had such a disappointing start. 
So much joy to be found in 27! 
I’m really striving this year. Striving to grow closer to Jesus. Striving to create wonderful memories for our children. Striving to be a better listener, better wife, a better friend, better prayer, better budgeter, better user of time, better meal planner, better person, the list goes on. I’m praying the Lord helps mold me more this 27th year of life. 
So thankful for it all. Thankful for this sweet spot. 

Twenty-seven seems crazy and not possible but I’m excited to see how much growth this year brings me. God is so good. Cheers to 27!

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